How to choose a kindergarten and not harm your child - a psychologist's advice for parents
Kyiv • UNN
Psychologist Olena Shershnyova spoke about the criteria for choosing a kindergarten and signs of a child's readiness for learning. It is important to pay attention to the emotional climate.
Choosing a kindergarten is the first serious step in the life of a child and their parents. Not only comfort but also the psychological development of the child depends on this decision. Child psychologist Olena Shershnyova told a UNN journalist more about what to pay attention to, when a child is ready for kindergarten, and how to make adaptation as smooth as possible.
Details
When choosing a kindergarten, parents often pay attention to the program or conditions, but the most important thing is the emotional climate in the institution, says the psychologist. It is the atmosphere that determines whether the child will feel safe. It is also important to assess how adults interact with children every day.
When choosing a kindergarten, pay attention to how adults communicate with children there. Is there warmth, is there acceptance, do educators and the headmistress react to children's emotions, or perhaps on the contrary, do they shame, break children's behavior. Also pay attention to whether the staff is stable there, that is, whether the educators are stable, or perhaps specialists are constantly changing there. Also important, of course, is hygiene, safety, that is, whether the territory is fenced, whether sanitary standards are observed. And whether the administration and educators are open to contact with you, whether they are ready to talk to you, answer questions and be in dialogue
However, there is no universal answer to the question of age for kindergarten. One should focus not only on the number in the birth certificate but also on the child's psychological maturity. It is this that determines how easily the child adapts to the new environment.
In general, basic autonomy is formed in a child at approximately 2.5-3 years of age. But it is important to take into account individual characteristics and look at the specific child. Is she ready, what is her psychological maturity, and not just her actual age. Has her attachment to her parents been formed adequately, is she ready to try to be somewhat independent. Has her basic speech been formed, can she communicate her needs
Signs of readiness for kindergarten can be noticed in a child's daily life. They manifest in the ability to interact with other people and endure a short separation from parents. It is also important to pay attention to the level of independence.
A child is ready for kindergarten if they can already stay with other adults. If parents have already left them with a grandmother, with a nanny, and there was no panic, and they continued to live their life. If they are interested in other children, try to interact. And, of course, if there are already elements of independence: the child can eat on their own, is being potty trained, tries to get dressed. And a very important criterion is whether they are able to calm down with the support of another adult
However, even after choosing the right kindergarten, it is important to carefully observe the child. Sometimes behavior or the atmosphere in the institution can signal a problem. Parents should react to such signals, not ignore them.
A disturbing signal is if children's emotions are devalued in kindergarten. If they say "stop crying," if there is discipline through fear, through shaming, through punishment. It should also be alarming if there is frequent staff turnover, closedness to parents, unwillingness to discuss difficulties. And most importantly - how the child reacts. If adaptation is very difficult and does not ease over time, if there is prolonged stress, regression in behavior, sleep or appetite disturbances, then this is a reason to investigate the situation and, possibly, remove the child from the institution
Regarding the process of adaptation to kindergarten, the psychologist explains that it should be gradual and gentle. Abrupt changes only increase stress and can cause a negative attitude towards the institution, and parents play a key role in how the child experiences this period.
For the child to adapt gradually, without haste, it is worth starting with short visits. First for an hour, then for a few hours, and only later for the whole day. A stable farewell ritual is important - short, calm, and confident. You can give a toy from home so that the child feels supported. And after kindergarten, of course, it is important to listen to the child, ask about their affairs, and accept their emotions
Among the most common mistakes parents make is incorrect behavior during separation. It can increase the child's anxiety and even undermine trust in parents. The psychologist emphasizes: honesty and stability are key to safe adaptation.
Do not make long, anxious goodbyes - this only increases the pain. Also, do not devalue the child's feelings when they are having a hard time. Another mistake is to disappear unnoticed, distracting the child. This is a very harmful strategy that undermines basic trust in the world. And, of course, you should not drastically change the routine and demand quick adaptation, you need to understand that the child needs time
Recall
The European Commission allocated 25 million euros for the modernization of Ukrainian kindergartens within the framework of the "First Steps Forward" initiative. The funds will be used for the construction of shelters, the creation of a barrier-free environment, and the renovation of play spaces, which will allow more than 2,000 pupils to return to in-person learning.