How war changes children and what adults can do to support them
Kyiv • UNN
Psychologist Olena Shershnova spoke about the impact of war on children and the signs of stress. She advises maintaining a daily routine and speaking honestly about the events in the country.
During the war, the psychological state of children requires special attention, as even outwardly invisible experiences can have long-term consequences. Child psychologist Olena Shershniova told a journalist from UNN more about how war changes a child's psyche, what signals adults should pay attention to, and how to support a child in difficult conditions.
The war has changed the lives of millions of Ukrainian children. Air raid sirens, shelling, forced displacement, separation from loved ones, and a constant sense of danger leave a mark on the child's psyche. At the same time, according to the psychologist, a child's reaction to experienced events can vary depending on their age and individual characteristics.
War affects children regardless of age, but it manifests differently. In preschoolers, it is often a regression in development: a child may start fearing being left alone again, sleep worse, or lose independence skills. Younger schoolchildren often become anxious, tearful, and find it harder to concentrate on studies. Adolescents may exhibit irritability, aggression, withdrawal, loss of motivation, or a sense of hopelessness,
According to Olena Shershniova, the consequences of experienced stress do not always manifest immediately. Sometimes a child appears calm on the outside but internally continues to experience intense emotional tension. That is why it is important for adults to carefully observe changes in children's behavior.
A child's psyche may not react immediately. Sometimes the consequences manifest months or even years after traumatic events. These can include increased anxiety, difficulty trusting people, self-esteem issues, depressive states, or post-traumatic stress disorder. At the same time, one should not perceive a child as doomed to trauma. Much depends on whether there are adults nearby who provide a sense of security, support, and stability,
Among the first signals of psychological exhaustion can be sleep problems, mood swings, or a reluctance to communicate with other people, the expert explained. Such manifestations often arise after intense experiences or prolonged exposure to stressful conditions. It is especially important to pay attention to the duration of such changes.
Among the most common signs are sleep disturbances, nightmares, frequent fears and anxiety, tearfulness, or sharp mood swings. These can also include withdrawal, refusal to communicate, aggressiveness or excessive excitability, difficulty concentrating, and loss of interest in favorite activities. In adolescents, additional signals may include risky behavior, alienation from the family, and a sense of the meaninglessness of life. If such manifestations last for several weeks and interfere with daily life, it is worth consulting a psychologist,
Equally important is proper communication with the child during the war. Parents often try to protect children from difficult topics; however, complete silence about events can only increase anxiety, as children need honest and clear explanations of what is happening around them.
The most important rule is to speak honestly, but in a way that is age-appropriate for the child. Children sense the emotional state of adults very well. Therefore, instead of the phrase "nothing happened," it is better to say: "Yes, it is dangerous right now, but we are doing everything possible to stay safe." There is no need to overwhelm the child with details or show shocking videos. The child should receive exactly as much information as they are psychologically able to handle. It is important to allow the child to ask questions and not to dismiss their fears with words like "don't make things up" or "there's nothing to be afraid of." It is much more helpful to say: "I understand that you are scared. I am also scared sometimes. But we are together." The main task of parents is to provide a sense of support,
At the same time, the absence of vivid emotions does not always mean that the child is coping well with stress. Some children react to danger quite differently; for example, they become overly quiet and restrained, and the most dangerous part is that adults may mistakenly perceive such behavior as a sign of resilience.
Not all children react to stress with tears or tantrums. Some, on the contrary, seem to "freeze." They behave very obediently, do not complain, and do not show emotions. But this does not mean it is easy for them. The psyche has different ways of protecting itself. Some children seem to switch off their feelings to cope with the excessive burden. This is especially characteristic of children who feel responsible for their parents or do not want to upset them further. Therefore, it is important for adults to also pay attention to silence, loss of interest in life, and the child's emotional detachment,
So, what can adults do daily to help a child feel safer and maintain psychological resilience during the war? Olena Shershniova explained that one of the most effective ways to support a child is to create a sense of stability even in difficult conditions, and that in fact, it is the familiar things that help children maintain internal balance and a sense of control over their lives.
The best medicine for a child's psyche is predictability and support. Even during the war, it is important to maintain a daily routine, familiar rituals, studies, and family traditions. These are what give the child back the feeling that life goes on. Also helpful are: daily face-to-face communication, hugs and physical contact, joint games and family activities, physical activity, creativity, drawing, music, and limiting the viewing of distressing news. Children primarily take their cues from the state of adults. Therefore, parents taking care of their own mental health is also a way of helping the child,