Starting school is a serious change for a child, so getting used to a new environment does not happen in a few days. Psychologist Olha Holubytska, who has 16 years of experience working with children and adults, told UNN more about how long a first-grader’s adaptation to school may take, which difficulties are normal and which symptoms may indicate that the child needs help.
Details
According to the psychologist, it is normal for a child’s adaptation to school to take up to three months. At the same time, the pace of adjustment may depend on the child and on how ready the child is for school.
Most children can indeed adapt within a month—not completely, but their framework, their personality, may already adapt, while some details may take longer. But a lot depends on the child’s temperament and previous experience. Did they attend preschool or not, what kind of communication experience do they have, what is their cognitive activity, and most importantly, were they assessed for school readiness and are they ready for school?
The psychologist notes that children who previously attended preschool often find it easier to adapt to the school environment because they already have experience communicating with other children and interacting with adults.
Children who attended preschool adapt to school best. This is because they are already used to being part of society, being among large numbers of people, having one adult whom they listen to, following rules and attending classes. They adapt to school much more easily than children who did not attend preschool
At the same time, an overly long adaptation period may indicate more than simply getting used to school.
If it is already winter and the child is still struggling—for example, they do nothing but keep getting sick, with illnesses occurring constantly since September, very acute reactions appearing, or night terrors occurring—then we begin to understand that something is happening with the child. This is no longer about adaptation, but about some anxiety or another parallel process that the child may be going through
Parents should pay particular attention to how the child reacts to school after the first weeks of classes. The psychologist advises monitoring the child’s health, sleep and what they say about what is happening at school.
We pay attention to health, sleep and, in general, what the child talks about. Ideally, the first grades are structured so that, especially during the first semester, there are no extremely high-stakes grades. A great deal also depends on the school, the class and how the parents chose the teacher
Instead, if the child cries in the morning and does not want to go to school, parents should first find out the specific reason. The psychologist advises them not to dismiss the child’s feelings, but to look together for a way to make the new environment safer for them.
We need to understand exactly what is happening. If it is only the first few days, it is important to talk it through with the child and say that this is normal, that it is quite difficult for them, and that this is a completely new world. Let’s talk about how we can make this new world safer for you
Among the mistakes made by parents who send their child to school, the psychologist names excessive expectations and constantly comparing the child with others. Difficulties may also intensify if the child is expected to adapt quickly or is forbidden to express emotions.
Comparison is very destructive for children. High expectations and no right to make mistakes, demands for rapid adaptation and prohibiting emotions—"you shouldn’t react like that," "why are you so nervous," "everything is fine," "pull yourself together"—are dismissive phrases
According to Olha Holubytska, parents should consult a child psychologist if psychosomatic symptoms, health problems or strong anxiety reactions persist for a long time. A sharp change in behavior, including withdrawal from peers and parents, also requires attention. At the same time, a short-term desire to be alone during adaptation does not necessarily indicate a problem in itself.
When psychosomatic symptoms persist for a very long time, there are sleep problems, nightmares, and certain reactions—panic or anxiety—when the child is unable to regulate themselves, then, of course, it is necessary to see a psychologist immediately. If the child was lively and then suddenly became withdrawn, that can also be a signal. However, it is important to distinguish the normal distancing of a child experiencing stress from isolation
According to the psychologist, successful adaptation to school depends not only on the child. Their readiness to learn, previous social experience, the atmosphere in the classroom, and interaction with the teacher are also important. Parents should support the child, not demand immediate results, and allow them to make mistakes.